“Yay!”I can go to Warehouse. “ I said to myself .I was going to get something for my family and me. In the Warehouse there was a Jewellery department .when I was staring at the watches , rings and bracelet ,I wish that I can get one of the watches , rings and bracelet .I got lost! I thought that I was lost for ever.(I quietly said to myself).My legs raced everywhere but I didn't found my Mum so I went to the shoe department finally I found her looking at the shoes.We buyed everything What we needed. We got Kitchenware , shoes and Clothes After that . We went to the counter the manager put everything in the bag and off we went . when we sat in the the patrol was less! Luckily there was patrol store near by so rushed and gave the car some petrol and off we went to Kmart.
My goal is :
1.Add more content to my writing so I have 15 or more sentences.
2.Make sure I put my full stops in the right place.
3.Use speech marks when there are talking bits.
4.Use question marks for questions and exclamation marks when needed.
that is a brillnet story but i would say
ReplyDeleteit might need a bit more sentences